lebowskibaracus (lebowskibaracus) wrote,


Gentle reader, seeker of enlightenment, let us attempt to define you. For purposes of this experiment, we will be purely mechanistic. You are the being of the species Homo Erectus that contains any 1 particular, constant DNA pattern (if there are any mutations, cancers, or other nasties, the most popular pattern amongst your cells wins), which is, in itself, a product of two DNA patterns contributed by two other people we will refer to as your parents.

Given that we now have this pattern, which is yours uniquely, let us now try to find you. Assuming that we limit our search to known examples of the species Homo Erectus, there are ~6 billion subjects who each have an equal statistical chance of being you. We must, of course, apply the pattern to every human being in an attempt to find you, or anyone who may be masquerading as you. Let us assume that we try every human being on Earth, and only find 1 you. That means that, in 6 billion attempts, there was 1 match, meaning that the odds against a match are, roughly, 1/5,999,999,999, or
.00000000016666666669444444444907407407485 against. Surely a probability that low must be a statistical anomaly, and may be thrown out as such. Because you are a highly unlikely statistical anomaly, your impact is so minimal as to be negligible. Therefore you do not matter. Given that the measure of something's acknowledged existence is measure of that something's impact on the world around it, and that your impact on the world around you is incalculably small, you do not exist. Therefore, I was perfectly in the right to pull my car out onto the freeway at the moment in question, and I will not trade insurance information with you, because you are obviously a hallucination.
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