The Reader of This Article Is A Pope. Treat Him/Her/It Good
You are probably wondering, o nobly delivered by Cesarean Section, what the blinding fuck you're reading. The idea is simple: We believe in nothing, not even nihlism. In addition to nothing, we believe that in the coming apocalypse, be it X-Day, or the immanentizing of the Eschaton, or simply the election of Arnold Schwarzenegger as the president of the United States, the divine duality of Eris, goddess of Discord, and Bob, the Divine Drilling-Equipment Salesman, will come to us in the form of Slackmaster General Jeffery Lebowski (of the big Lebowski fame) and the Unholy Prince of Peace, Love and Non-Sequitirs Mr. B.A. Baracus. They will show us the divine nature of Taking 'Er Easy and Taking Care of Shit. They will bring mankind to fruition and create an earthly paradise of laziness, apathy, and randomness. We believe in simple chaos, and in novelty as its own reward. In combining Eris and Bob, we have destroyed them both, and we take great pride in this fact. Hail Eris, Hail Bob, and Fuck 'Em Both If They Can't Take A Joke! This church is a work in progress, and will remain so because the nature of the thing is a gnostic relationship with conmen, shams, rubes, Gods, saints, devils, left-wingers in amateur hockey leagues, machines, monsters, monkeys and madmen. Thus is the nature of the divine mystery of the Austere Joke, the Ascetic Hedonist, the King of Nowhere In Particular, and the Bottle Goose. Every word of this is, of course, a lie, including this statement. Take heed, o randomly born, and keep your head down. The Holy Shit is flying, and you're the Chao's Mu, baby!